That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
