Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
