So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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