How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
