Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
