I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
