I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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