Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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