we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
