IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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