so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
