i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
