Pants 0. Shit 1.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
