I puked a lego.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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