dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I've blown a few things in my day
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
