They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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