just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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