The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
