i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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