Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
