I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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