So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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