Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize