I'm gonna have a badass scar
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
