so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she peed on how many people?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
