I could have mohawked her pubes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
