Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
