oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So vagazzling was a success
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
