how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
