Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Let's get the cat blown out
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
