our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
