i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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