please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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