this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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