don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
