I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
True but thats because hes a fetus.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
