i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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