I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
