Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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