even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
