you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
