I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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