Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize