Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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