DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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