Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
