i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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