My nipple is on Facebook.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
