Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
