did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
