We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just forgot I was standing up.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
