Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize