my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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