No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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