this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
