marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
