just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
