D3 body, D1 cock
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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