She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
