Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
