So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
