"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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