just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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